Nikkah/Marriage Advice - by sisters, for sisters

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Nikkah/Marriage Advice - by sisters, for sisters

from http://facebook.com/habibihalaqas

What words of advice & encouragement can you sharewith a sister who is soon to be married in sha allah and soon to enter a newchapter in her life, sharing it with her future husband in sha allah ?

·        Be compassionate and patientand to always be there for her husband, almost like we are to our bff

·        Congratulations always seekto please allah swt:) and follow the sunnah of your nabi rasool saw and may hetreat you like a queen and fulfil his islamic obligations towards you ..... Youare right:)) but haqq and haqooq laid down by allah swt is for both man/woman:)

·        Stay patient and calm even ifu see something u don't like. When the anger or frustration dies down then talkabout it. Don't try and talk about it when ur emotional else u might saysomething u will regret later. People tend to make big deals over small things.It's just not worth it. Remember ur partners in marriage, ur always on the sameteam :) may allah bless all the muslimeens marriages :)

·        I always say this advice andsometimes sisters take offence off of it but regardless its true: treat him likea king, he's your door to jannah. If this relationship is solid then otherminor things will be overlooked in sha allah

·        Pick your battles, and yes,if something upsets you... Wait till you've calmed down before u discuss it.Also, evaluate whether the issue is really that important to you afterall. Us,women, like to discuss most of our feelings with our huabands, just as we woulda best friend, but the truth is that the opp sex doesn't view everything in theway that women do :) have patience and listen to him... Men are usually simple.

·        Even if you think he iswrong, let him learn it for himself. A man never wants his wife to tell himwhat to do.

·        Do not try to control..thatis a major problem in both cases...and seek allah's help and guidance in everydecision it really helps and alleviate a lot of problems....respect eachother...

·        Love each other feesibililahvery important...insha'allah...may allah bring them together in spiritualbond...ameen

·        Have patience,be merciful andforgiving to your husband,show him lots of love and respect ,be a mirror ofwhat you want from him ,and inshallah follow the examples of our belovedprophet of allah ,,make your home his place and yours of rememberance of allahand a place of rest and tranquility and family inshallah :)

·        Read the book 'thesurrendered wife' by laura doyle and attend the online seminar by yasir qadhiat www.likeagarment.com these 2 have made me understand men better. I wish iknew this a long time ago, when i first got married, or even before that.

·        Compromise and focus on allahare the keys to a successful marriage

·        The success is when both havethe same goal - to please allah swt- after that everything is easy. Thedisagreements come and go its normal so don't get upset about having them. Itshow you deal with it that makes it productive. To deal with it in a peacefulmanner is always the best way. Keep problems out of the bedroom. Never discussserious things there except for theseriously sweet somethings. Never discuss what goes on in your house withanyone except your mom who may help you as long as she is muslim. 

Best of all - your husband is allah swt's blessingto you. So don't mistreat him. Remember you are also the blessing from allahswt to him, so make sure you act like it. No bad words or cussing each otherout. They only decrease your status as a muslim woman, your dignity, and alsoyour integrity. A husband always likes his woman to be smart. First thingsfirst, your deen. If you don't take care of that, everything else fails -miserably. 

Remember, you are a team, not you do this and hedoes that. You help each other. Make sure to make duaa that allah swt makes youthe wife that your husband needs every day so that you are able to take care ofhim with the help of allah swt completely. 

Most important, the happiest home is the one whoremembers allah swt often and does everything possible to keep shaytan awayfrom it. Make sure to say bismillah when doing anything in your house, andsalamu alaykom when coming in the door and all those wonderful things to keep shaytanout. 

For sure to tell your husband what to do may not bevery nice, but suggestions and reminders are wonderful and encouraging whendone in a nice way.

·        I agree :) one of the greatthings about it is that the topic will attract the men... And once they arelured in by the actual topic, they must listen to all the relationship stuffthat most men don't care to hear, before they get their reward of satisfyingtheir curiosity about the other stuff lol

·        I would hesitate on tellingtoo much to your mother, unless you know she will be objective...if you havesomeone that is, be it your mother or a friend, then that's fine...otherwiseyou are best to work out things between yourselves and not get others involved.

·        Be yourself and give her man a lotof love, all day everyday and keep hime happy, i love it

·        A cute advice someone toldme"

"marriage is like a climbing a mountain"
*she puts 2 hands together to make a mountain*

"god is on top/tip of the mountain & eachof you (husband & wife ) is on each side of the mountain."
"the main goal in your life is to please god& be closer to him" (to the top)
*she makes gestures with her fingers that bothhusband & wife is climbing the mountain on each of their side*

"you see,the more you climb up & try toget closer to god,the closer you will be together (top/tip of the mountain).
"now,both of you,have to try their best toclimb up,i know sometimes its hard to do the climbing,but you have to know thatyour partner is on the other side of the mountain climbing too & dealingwith their own struggles & will be waiting for you at the top!"

"and that is your main goal,to get closer togod.
And cant you see,the more both of you try to climbup to get closer to him,the more both of you get closer to each other.
The more god see's your love in trying to be closerto him,the more he is pleased with you,& in return,you will be pleased& blessed with each other."

·        Salat! Patience! Patience!And kind words!

·        Salat, dauh, patience, kindwords, and following quran and sunnah. Insha allah she will have a blissfulmarriage

·        Read d buk bride's boon,treasure chest of reminder. Patience is d watch word. Wishg them marital bliss

• ·        Be ur them self, be proud them self,and be true to them self, i love it, it is we not me, get it if u don't makesure u get it, because do it again and again, and agian more time, i lvoe it
• ·        Do dua istikhara
• ·        Patience, dua, love..be readyto forgive, share all your feelings with partner as if u do with ur bestfriend... Be kind and ready to forgive, dont be adamant...
• ·        Make dua every day to keep youand your husband good together sister... :-) may allah grant you happiness andblessings together.
• ·        I would say keep his secrets saveall the time,look your best,and know that marriage life is a test so try tostudy before the exam=meaning read the ahadeeth of the prophet and any usefulbook about muslim families.may allah make it easy for you be patien for thetransition for the firs years!
• ·        By the book "101 thingsi wish i knew before i got married, " it's excellent!!! (of course, fewnonislamic elements here and there- personal disclaimer) but each chapter titleis a gem, only few pages each concept, and really full of exceptional insightfor marriage!
• ·        Amazing book "familystructure in islam" - http://www.onlineislamicstore.com/b2530.html
• ·        I would add to all thewonderful pieces of advice above: lower your expectations :-) purely because uswomen have a tendency to dream up romance scenarios . I used to be like thisbefore lol
• daily married life is not always easy so to berealistic beforehand is important :-)
• ·        One of the sahabi, i thinkthat it was abu hurairah, said that when he married his wife and they werealone with each other, he reached out his hand to her. And she said, wait amoment, my husband. I do not know what you like, and you do not know what i like.Tell me what you like, and i will tell you what i like.
• He said that he answered her questions,and she answered his, and then they both tried to live up to what the other hadsaid. He also said that they were married for twenty years, and he was verypleased with her the entire time.
• So that is my advice: communicate, say what it isthat you like, and what it is that you do not like, and try to keep in mindwhat each other has said, to please each other for the sake of allaah ta'alaa.And in doing so, you earn the rewards of allaah, and it is he who puts lovebetween the hearts of the believers.
• ·        'Be like a slave girl to himand he will be like a slave boy to you' quite a famous saying from a mother toher daughter. Its also in the book 'you can be the happiest woman' insha'allahshe will have the happiest married life salam x

Posted in: Marriage