How I started wearing the Hijab

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How I started wearing the Hijab

by Khadijah

All praises be to Allah Who has made wearing hijab and handling the pressure from my non-Muslim family, from the non-Muslim communities and sadly from some of the Muslims easy for me. Wearing hijab gives me a great deal of pleasure as I submit myself to the commands of Allah Suba7anahu wa ta3la.

As I recall my story, it gives me a tremble in my heart; perhaps it is very dear and precious to me. I recall the day almost one year before I accepted Islam, I watched the lecture, Women in Islam – Liberated or Subjugated? by Abdur Raheem Green. Most of the things he defended against the claims that the women in Islam being oppressed touched my heart, and I was very moved with the concept of hijab. Although I was certain of the benefits of wearing hijab, it wasn’t put into action. The reason was that, Tawheed (affirmation in oneness of God), wasn’t established in my heart; ignorance about our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) and the miracle of Qur’aan were other reasons that I couldn’t start wearing hijab, in spite of reverence and conviction in hijab. The thought of covering one’s beauty for the well-being of the community appealed to me to a great degree. However, I was of the opinion that, “There are many more beautiful girls out there, then why should I submit my will of displaying my beauty?” One may truly and clearly see the difference between two persons who believe in hijab with and without Islam in their hearts; the one with Islam submits his/her will to Allah, while the one without Islam has no basis. After couple of months, I commenced to study Islam. Al7amdulillah, within few months, I believed in the message of Islam. During this period, my conviction in hijab was demonstrated to some extent. I started to wear full length loose pants, full sleeve shirts and t-shirts.

In no time, Muslim sisters of my community provided all the encouragement, support, hospitality and friendliness I needed and, I was presented with several beautiful hijabs. My heart was filled with Islam, my closet with hijabs, my mind with thoughts of wearing hijab, but something pushed me back. What was that? FEAR!!! Not fear of Allah, not fear of my parents (because I was in another country), but the fear of non-Muslim community. I tried to fight this fear roughly for three months, but I was always defeated, until I attended a halaqa (religious gathering) about hijab. A sister with a charming face filled with Noor, began to talk with her pleasant and polite voice regarding hijab and I was completely absorbed into the concept. By no means can I forget that day. May Allah reward her with the best of Duniya and Aakhirah. Ameen.

Nearly for six to seven months, I wore hijab (what I mean here is the head scarf with my regular decent outfit) and fancied myself wearing Abayah. Al7amdulillah, I got the courage to make my fantasy into reality. I continued to wear Abayah with hijab until I was intrigued with the idea of Niqab (veil covering one’s face). Very soon, I began to wear Niqab too. Al7amdulillah.

I would also like to share an anecdote that genuinely made me stick to wearing hijab even in times of hardship. As I mentioned before, I travelled abroad for my studies and, my mother was not aware of the transition I had made for about a year. Eventually, I informed her of my conversion and she was very furious, shocked and upset. Hence, she took a flight immediately to see me. While she stayed with me for two weeks, she aimed and strived to convince me to take my hijab off. She emotionally blackmailed me!!! In due course, there came a time, when I decided to take my hijab off until she left back home – to make her feel better, as she was filled with enragement and annoyance. I shared my decision with one of the sisters I was close to; and Masha Allah, her wise, sensible and rational advice gave me strength to face my trials. May Allah grant her Jannah (Paradise) and protect her Naar (Hellfire). Ameen. She admonished me that, if I agreed to take my hijab off according to my mother’s wish then, she would comprehend my weakness in my Eemaan (faith); next she would work on my Salaat (Prayers), then mixing with opposite sex, until I would eventually abandon my Deen. I came to realize that this was the sketch of Shaitaan (Satan – the accursed devil) who was attempting to stray me away from the Deen through my mother’s emotions. I stood strong against my mother’s wish and continued to wear hijab, although she detested it. Al7amdulillah, my mother came to recognize that hijab is something I will by no means take off. 

Posted in: Women