Poem: I couldnt even say I'm sorry, Mother

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Mother

By Lyricall Gal

I know I hurt you with the words I say

I said I’d stay true and would always obey

But times came when those were just lies

I wish I wasn’t lame and didn’t hear your cries

The times I would ignore you and shout

Saying I was through and would walk out

Times when you sat down for me to talk

I used to frown and go for a walk

Always thought you were against me

How more wrong could I have been?

Because when the world was against me

You were still stood right next to me

I realised I could never pay you back

Then crying and asking why I ever did that

You’ve been through nine months of agony

You went through strain and then got me

Waking up to feed me in the night

Everything dark so you switched on the light

You tried forever to stop my endless cries

Until they swelled up: your eyes

You now cry and I’m the reason for yours

More and more pain to you I caused

You cleaned me and clothed me

You fed me and grew me

But I will never understand all you have been through

I’m full of disappointment as the hurt is not just a few

I will never be able to know or see

Until I have my own child with me

You were my strength when I was weak

To the length when everything was bleak

You were there for me you were unique

The times I was alone and afraid

When everyone left you stayed

I was weakened by anger and it would all just worsen

But you were there to listen to whatever was hidden

How badly I misunderstood you and only did argue

Like this I grew always running back to the crew

So easily I left your reassurance and comfort

I was becoming an expert in getting you hurt

You always forgave me and everything that I did

I constantly hid away from you like a little kid

All the harsh words I did say all day everyday

Went the wrong way was being led astray

As a result I did repay when it happened someday

I felt so lost and alone

I felt so cold on my own

I lost track because of the crack

I desperately wanted you back

Being full of hate now it’s too late

To be with you just us two

I wish everything I could undo

Back then I didn’t have a clue

My only chance with you I blew

Regretfully chose my friends over family

On them I would depend thinking I was free

Always ignored the part within that was missing

Again I want to start without the faulting

I want to see your face glowing not hurting

I want to see it smiling not crying

I guess I won’t be able to see it at all

Only memories of you I recall

The higher I flew the harder I fell

I could not even wish you farewell

Now there is no one there to tell

Times when I am not feeling well

I lost the chance to appreciate your love

Because you left and have gone above

Everything you did for me I was too blind to see

The reality check made me lonely it hurt so badly

If only I could go back and wake up earlier

But I’m too late this life has a timer

I wish we could’ve spent more time together

So I wouldn’t have to stay in regret forever

Wish you could stay some more

Before you left through the door

It was unfair because you were not there

Back then I didn’t care but now I am aware

Every action has a consequence

I thought that was just nonsense

Well nothings real unless you experience it

This struck me like being hit with a brick

I was a candle unlit

I was a broken culprit

If I saw you just once more

I would never let you go

I am hurting inside mummy

Time went by so quickly

I couldn’t even say I’m sorry

I learnt to appreciate what I got

What seems little is actually a lot

Especially if you can have it just once

You don’t want to miss that special chance

Last thing you need is regretting their absence.

Posted in: poem