Treating Non-Muslims Fairly

by Fahima Mahmood

Since 9/11, Islam was continuously portrayed as a religion that hates non-Muslims and is violent against those not following the sharia law. This clearly isn’t the case since Islam preaches the necessity and requirement of treating non-Muslims fairly.

In fact, the freedom for non-Muslims is guaranteed by Islamic law, which gives all citizens the right to equality. A prime example of this is when the second Caliph, Omar bin Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, learned that some Muslims took over a piece of land belonging to a Jew to build a mosque on it. He ordered the mosque to be demolished and for the land to be returned to the Jew.

As you can see from this example, Islam teaches fairness and justice for all. Under sharia law that is executed properly, Muslims and non-Muslims can live in peace and harmony. There are many rights under sharia such as freedom of religious practice and citizenship that are given to the non-Muslims living under the protection of an Islamic state which is similar to what the United States offers.

Of course the sharia law is based on the Quran and hadith, which says a lot about the treatment of non-Muslims. The Quran states “God does not forbid you, to act fairly towards those who have never fought you over religion nor have driven you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them.” (60:8) This ayat clearly instructs Muslims to respect followers of other religions and deal equally with them.

In addition, the Quran mentions Christians and Jews many times because their respective religions are based on the heavenly book, Bible and Torah. The Quran says “Do not argue with the people of the Book, unless it is in the politest manner.”(29:46) It’s also important to note that Islam recognizes Jesus and Moses as prophets. Furthermore, Muslim men are allowed to marry Christians or Jews while giving their wives the liberty to practice her religion as she pleases.

According to sharia law, Muslims and non-Muslims should be able to live in harmony.Whether we are Muslim or non-Muslim we all have the right to equality and should consider this sacred. As the prophet, peace be upon him, said “Whoever hurts a non-Muslim, I shall be his complainant and for whoever I am a complainant, I shall ask for his right on the day of Resurrection.”

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Book Review : Umm Zakkiyah's - Hearts We Lost

by Khadeejah Islam

Umm Zakiyyah’s latest novel titled “Hearts We Lost” highlights the revival of a language, which, although on the verge of extinction, holds the power of transcending geographical boundaries to unite hearts of all ages, genders, colours and nationalities. Accentuated by enigmatic visions, the plot revolves around the struggles of each character to comprehend this language. This novel represents Islam in a new light and often delves into topics which are considered controversial or far-fetched in today’s time. Besides, it takes into account a myriad of intriguing cultural and spiritual issues.

After years of pursuing Islamic studies in Riyadh, Sharif, who is set to be a local Imam in his homeland in fulfillment of his father’s final wishes, is perplexed by persuasive visions. Timid from childhood, he soon finds himself at odds with his fiancée, Hasna, a gorgeous but proud aspiring lawyer. Torn apart emotionally due to this crumbling relationship, he finds solace in the visions. The feeling is mutual for Hasna who, unable to bear rejection, gropes in the dark to find a reassuring shoulder. The world falls apart when Sharif finds a literal representation of the recurring dreams and reveals it to a confidante. Shunned by his near and dear ones, he decides to return to Riyadh. Is there anything for him in his own homeland? The story revolves around how these developments entangle the lives of other characters and revive the dying language to instill it in the hearts of those characters.

The characters, though fictitious, are certainly going to prevail over your heart and occupy your memories for a long while. The highly eloquent style of the author and the detailed descriptions of events and emotions make the characters come alive. You will laugh with them, you will cry with them, you will feel their frustrations, you will feel angry at them – that’s how real the characters have come across. This novel has touched upon so many issues that the readers are likely to identify with some situation or the other; with some character or the other. Combining elements of description, narration, exposition and argument, the author has carved her own literary style. The language used is clean, even while displaying negative emotions, making it a healthy experience for readers.

Marked by powerful and poignant statements, chances are that you will get to read something new at every stage. You will be looking at the same subject in a different perspective. In many cases, you will be introduced to new definitions. This ensures that you remain hooked to the novel till the end. The conclusion is one which will leave you craving for more. You will not want to bid farewell to the characters. You will be inquisitive about each and every character. Surprisingly, you will be left in a state of emotional bliss, yearning to be in the company of the characters in the conclusion of this novel. The strength of this novel is that without trying too hard, it is capable of jolting the readers – even the strong-hearted ones – to meaningful reflection and in some cases, to tears.

The content of this novel is original and most importantly, strong – something that you have not read in a while. Perhaps, this is one reason why it has been so inspiring for me. It is indeed surprising how the novel has taught me invaluable lessons within the framework of a fictitious story. The author does not try too hard to scatter lessons here and there throughout the story. They appear naturally, with the flow of the story, as if the story demands them. I believe it will be a beneficial learning as well as enjoyable experience for the readers as it has been for me insha’Allah. We have seen Islam as a religion; we have seen it as a way of life. Now is the time to look at it as a language. A long-forgotten language will be revived insha’Allah to unite the hearts that we have lost.

At a time when Muslim women are considered oppressed and backwards, Umm Zakiyyah’s efforts in producing mind-blowing literature are praiseworthy and match the international standards. Since this novel deals with issues faced across the globe, it is perfect for an international audience. I would definitely recommend this book to every avid reader. I wish Umm Zakiyyah success in this life and in the Hereafter.

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Self Esteem : The Muslim Woman - A Warrior Of Sorts

by Anum Ali

The world has undoubtedly transformed into a big fireball of corrupt morals where a Muslim woman, in fact any woman, faces some serious issues that threaten to set ablaze her level of self-esteem. But as they say, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.” And so she should fight like a warrior, armed with the shield of self-esteem and the sword of her Iman (faith). There are several spatial, verbal, and physical ways that a woman can adopt to counter the issues she faces and self-esteem is the only way she would be able to use them, inshAllah.

This summer I was in Karachi city in Pakistan, my native country, and I got the opportunity to revisit the shops and bazaars. Trust me, in a bazaar, a woman is most unsafe and feels the most humiliated because the men treat you like toys. The illiterate and morally corrupt men would resort to touching you as you walk on the street or in shops, they would stare at you regardless of your Hijab and/or Niqab, and they would tease you with chants and mockery. Now you know why a woman is not allowed to step out of the house without a mehram (a male blood relative). Of course we change these principles, and sometimes we say that we have to, because the times have modernized and the Muslim woman has made her footprint in the fields of education and professionalism.

The weakness is in the functioning and the attitude of the woman herself. She feels that taking her brother, her husband, her father, or any other male relative along with her to common day places would be looked down upon. She feels that it would be very anti-feminism, or that people would assume that she is oppressed. Obviously, this is a self-esteem malfunction.

The best way to tackle such a social problem is to be accompanied by a male relative so the people out there know that they have a good chance of being beaten up if they harass a woman. However, there are times when women are with a male relative and yet she is harassed. Again, if she chooses to remain quiet about an incidence she has a self-esteem problem. If she is incapable of voicing out the wrong that’s being done to her, she is confused.

Let’s look at it detail as to what really goes wrong in the psychological thought process that makes a woman who’s been wronged, spiral into silence. When a woman is teased physically, visually, or verbally, say in a marketplace, she feels as if she is a weak creature that can be toyed around with. If she’s made the mistake of being alone in a social mess, then she feels unsafe because she has no defense. Or, even if she is not alone, she chooses not to “create a scene” because she feels that it would be an insult to her. And hence, she chooses to tolerate the harassment.

While speaking to a friend, I realized that there is a yet another concern that a Muslim woman faces and this one, being in the family, requires a more thought out approach. As the youth is acquiring proper knowledge about the principles and limitations of the Islamic religion, they’re beginning to realize which practices they should stay away from. The biggest challenge for a Muslim woman is to deal with the issue of non-mehrams (males who are not blood relatives) and how to avoid their “loving advances.” There are the distant uncles who leap to pat you on the head, or a namesake uncle who runs to gather you in a greeting hug. Now, because you have grown up and know your do’s and don’ts better, your biggest challenge is to refuse such uncles.

Usually, when a woman is unable to put up a worthy fight in face of such dilemmas, she initiates a series of negative conclusions inside her head that make matters worse. For instance, because a “sticky” male relative is a respectable elder or an influential family friend who you cannot back-answer or push away, you resort into thinking, “Why does it have to happen to me?” “I will be punished by Allah (swt),” “I’d never be able to escape him,” and etc. I recall such an uncle from my days of teenage. He had a habit of grabbing boys and girls and kissing them on their cheeks. Me and siblings used to hide when he visited on Eid, but eventually he would make his way everywhere. I realized that was a unsuccessful approach.

The idea behind a Muslim woman’s struggle is to be proactive about the issues that raise their heads and to tackle them with sensible and sober means. And always know that you MUST set the wrongs right because there is always going to be a lot of resistance from your family that approves of such instances while you do not. You should value your self-worth because that is exactly why Allah (swt) prescribed the codes of mehram and non-mehram, He knows how precious you are. As some women allow such physical gestures from distant male members of the family or friends, they are unaware that they’re providing Shaytan an easy path. Look around you, you wouldn’t have to go too far to find stories of incest and molestation and it may sound far-fetched, but intermingling with non-mehrams is what forms their basis.

A sister’s concern was that if she refuses a particular “touchy huggy” relative, he makes a loud statement about her being an “extremist.” That’s a favorite word the world has chosen to address each hard practicing Muslim by. She also fears that in family gatherings, refusing him would “create a scene”. Her dilemma is understandable, and her realization and anxiety about the problem is honorable. How many woman realize their worth and limitations this way? My advice in such situations is a “threefold approach" process:

1. Change your approach: Redefine the way you carry yourself. Be more sober and more reserved in the company of men, respond to their gestures by a simple Salam with the wave of a hand, and maintain a distance.
2. Approach the “subject”: If the “sticky uncle” doesn’t understand your spatial distance, then communicate your view to him. This can be done either directly, maintaining a good voice tone, or via a responsible family member who’s willing to help.
3. Re-approach with good mannerisms: If you cut off completely after your “confrontation” it may sever family ties. Maintain your greeting and respectful mannerism, but keep a distance.

When I compare a Muslim woman with a warrior, I do so because she expected to put up a worthy struggle against a fireball of fitnah that the world has become. Not only is she to shield herself but also ensure that she doesn’t become a fuel to aggravating it i.e. if you choose to remain quiet and passive you’d be encouraging such moral incorrectness. So guard your modesty with the power vested in you by Allah (swt). Look for people who would help you and make it easier for your fellow sisters.

Together we can, together we will, inshAllah.

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Resiliency Gained - A Guide to Stress Reduction

by Umm Amin


Bismillahi Arrahmani Irrahiim

SubhanAllah! Is the babying crying? Did you lose your job? Somebody is spreading rumors about you? People are talking about that hijab on your hair! Maybe you’ve got to get dinner on the table by 6 pm. Perhaps you are caring for a family member with a long term condition, like Alzheimer’s disease or Diabetes Mellitus. You might be noticing the lack of invitations to upcoming parties, or have it up to your neck with your three children that argue nonstop. You could be recovering from a loss or going through a divorce. Whatever individual test reaches you, chances are you can seriously benefit from stress reduction! Yes, you got it. Less stress: turn the intensity down and chill out! Alhamdulillah.

Stress is a biological response. Allah made us to respond this way. Whether it’s a cold ice cube in your hand, a startling noise, the smell of burning toast, a terrible sour milk taste, or seeing a vehicle approaching you head on; stress begins with intense and vivid stimuli that are sent to the brain. Your brain interprets the information it receives, and the threat is categorized into passing or an ongoing and real threat (Seaward, 2002). When your brain perceives a persistent threat, the nervous and endocrine systems pump up and prepare to respond. As a result, you may become jittery or on edge until the threat has passed and calmness ensues. Some of the physiological effects include a rapid heart rate, a pounding heart, increased blood pressure, rapid breathing, increased blood sugar, increased blood clotting, diarrhea, enhanced muscle strength, and increased sweating (Seaward, 2002). While these responses would normally be beneficial when you are trying to escape a frightening encounter, they can be irritating if you experience them for minor confrontations or your symptoms do not subside rapidly.

Most people experience a bit of stress now and then, but it’s usually experienced briefly. There are ill effects of ongoing or prolonged stress. Although the list of ailments is no comprehensive or all inclusive, stress can produce episodes of asthma, decreased immune response, tension headaches, fertility issues, heart failure, anxiety, depression, aging, muscular pain, gastrointestinal disease, ulcerative colitis, acne, diabetes, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, heart disease, high blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, blood clots, canker sores, teeth grinding, gingivitis, and psoriasis exacerbations(Griffin, 2010; Heller, Lee, and Koo, 2011; Nazario, 2010; Seaward, 2002; Tofler, Silver, and Solomon, 2011). Unmanaged stress spirals out of control, other illnesses flare up, and it becomes difficult to do your daily activities like waking up for fajr on time or completing household chores.

Since stress is detrimental to our long term health, it interferes with our performance as wives mothers, sisters, and parents. Poor coping techniques make our loved ones frustrated with our stress responses. It is imperative to whittle stress down to manageable levels. Stress can be ameliorated with a variety of management methods including guided imagery, time management, organization, visualizations, aromatherapy, conscious relaxation, humor, breathing techniques, meditation, and exercise (Chang and Shen, 2011; Kornsweig, 2011; Seaward, 2002; Sibinga et al., 2011).

You may be thinking, that’s all good but how can I relate to stress personally? Think of where Allah says in the Qur’an, Surah Ibraheem, 32-34, “It is Allah who created the heavens and the earth and sent down rain from the sky and produced thereby some fruits as provision for you and subjected for you the ships to sail through the sea by His command and subjected for you the fivers. And He subjected for you the sun and the moon, continuous [in orbit], and subjected for you the night and the day. And He gave you from all you asked of Him. And if you should count the favor [i.e. blessings] of Allah, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.” By taking a few moments to focus on the simple parables that surround us, we have the opportunity to reflect upon the bounties we cherish every day. Enjoying a few moments basking in the sun, or contemplating the freshness of the drizzling rain that in turn brings forth fragrant and delicious fruits reduces stress and reminds us to set aside a few moments for relaxation and reflection. It also provides a few moments to thank Allah for the numerous simple treasures we cherish on a daily basis. 

That little voice keeps coming back to your head. In your mind you are saying, yea, but I need some real tips that I can put into my daily life. Finding a solution to your stress is an easy recipe. By starting a journal you can both jot down triggers to help you identify when stress is surmounting so you can take steps to intervene. You can also use reflective journaling as a means to positively cope and reframe your experiences to prevent your response to set backs or frustrations from being exaggerated.

There is an abundance of ways that you can fit stress reduction into your daily life. You can modify your lifestyle by adding in daily exercise, scheduling in naps or relaxations sessions, and limiting jitter inducing caffeine laden drinks such as cola, tea, coffee, and energy drinks. You can focus on having a positive outlook, and reframing problems to put them into perspective. You can ask for help, or exchange tips with other women while also enjoying the benefits of building loving friendship and engaging in camaraderie. You can learn relaxation techniques, like deep breathing, guided imagery, visualizations, acupressure points, or aromatherapy. Simply getting out into the outdoors relieves stress, increases your production of important neurotransmitters, enhances your mood, and affords you the opportunity to count the natural wonders and blessed beauties that surround you.

If you still lack beneficial strategies for reducing stress in your life, get out a pen and paper to start your personal stress buster list. Start out your list with some of the suggestions in the Ten Tension Reducers List, but add in additional ideas you dream up. Post the list in a place that will be easily accessible when you are feeling the constraints of stress. Make sure you pause and make a cognizant effort to select one of these liberating activities the next time you feel under duress.

Ten Tension Reducers

1. Spend 15-30 minutes reviewing surahs you have already memorized. You will find pleasure and comfort in reciting familiar words of the Qur’aan. Take a few minutes to reflect on the meaning of the ayat and apply them to your life.

2. Laugh. Tell a joke. Share a funny story with someone. Better yet, have a humor pal and send jokes to one another once a week. You’ll have something to anticipate in the mail!

3. Make a poem. Mount it on colorful construction paper. Decorate the edges with pretty ribbon. Gift it to a friend or loved one.

4. Take a walk in the park, or hike a nature trail. If you enjoy running, swimming, or biking, do it outside!

5. Plant a tree, a flower, or a small herb garden. Go back to enjoy it and rest by it from time to time.

6. Surround yourself with positive reinforcements and affirmations. Use quotes as well as bright, vivid images. Make a collage or paint a poster to hang up later. The picture you create will be both inspiring and invigorating later on.

7. Read a book to a child or elderly person. It will be a moment to relax and share together.

8. Practice deep breaths in which you draw air into your diaphragm and slowly let the air out. Mix it up by adding in a relaxing cup of mint or verbena tea.

9. Increase the colorful fruits and veggies in your diet! Get out to the local market to select fresh, beautiful natural food choices. Supplement that with a healthy dose of water each day.

10. Put a few drops of bergamot or eucalyptus oil into a warm bath. Top it off with some bubbles. It’s time for a good soak to relax your muscles and mind from head to toe.

References

Chang, K-M, and Shen, C-W. (2011). Aromatherapy benefits autonomic nervous system regulation for  elementary school faculty in taiwan. Evidence Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine.
Griffin, M. (2010). 10 health problems related to stress that you can fix. WebMD.  http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress management/features/10-fixable -stress-related-health-problems
Heller, M.M., Lee, E.S., Koo, J.Y. (2011). Stress as an influencing factor in psoriasis. Skin Therapy Lett,  16(5), 1-4.
Kornsweig, J. (2011). Mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR): a monograph. Oriental Medicine, Spring, 19-33.
Nazario, B. (2010). How stress affects you oral health. WebMD. http://www.webmd.com/oral-health/healthy-teeth-2/stress-teeth
Saheeh International. (1997). The Qur’aan: An authentic, accurate, and clear English translation. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia: Abulqasim Publishing House.
Seaward, B. L. (2002). Managing stress: principles and strategies for health and wellbeing. 3rd ed. Sudbury, MA: Jones an Bartlett Publishers, Inc.
Sibinga, E., Kerrigan, D., Steward, M., Johnson, K., Magyari, T., and Ellen, J. (2011). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for urban youth. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 17(3), 213-218.
Tofler, G.H., Silver, J.M., and Solomon, D. (2011). Psychosocial and other acute factors in acute myocardial infarction. UpToDate. http://www.uptodate.com

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Yes, Women Can Work! (Part 2)

View Part 1 of this series HERE.


by Khadeejah Islam

The need to be productive and hence, working

Although most of the women now have a vision to be productive, there are many who do not have any definite aims. Why do we need to have big goals? What is the need to be productive? Why should we consider leaving a legacy? How does it matter if one woman does not contribute? Let us look at some of the reasons why a woman should be productive:

• Reward: We need to think of work as a ladder to success in the Hereafter. When a Muslimah looks after the sick, she will be rewarded insha’Allah. When a Muslimah raises children as good human beings, she will be rewarded insha’Allah.

• Halaal earning: There is nothing wrong in having a halaal earning, which she can invest in da’wah or charity projects. She can also utilize it to finance the needs of the family.

• Dispel the misconception: Many consider Muslim women as backward and oppressed. When you contribute to your family and the wider community, you are representing Islam in a positive light. This could work as an effective da’wah technique. Moreover, you will be helping to dispel much of Islamophobia. When non-Muslims see that you have the best kids in the neighbourhood, they will be inquisitive about Islam. When you start a project which eases the sufferings of others, it will soften the hearts of people.

• Catering to the needs of the Ummah: By starting up a project, you might be able to reduce unemployment and poverty. In addition, you might be able to inspire others to be productive in the society. With the number of Muslims rising, we need to have sufficient halaal output so that Muslim men, women and children have enough halaal options for entertainment, education, employment, and many other facilities.

• Utilize your blessings to the fullest: We are indeed blessed with many things, such as good health, sound mind, special skills, free will, merciful heart, basic amenities and much more. We need to recognize and utilize these to the fullest to show our gratefulness to Allah. Therefore, develop your hobbies and other special skills. This could also help you to avoid boredom. Remember that an idle mind allows Shaytan to instill evil thoughts, such as jealousy, suspicion, despair, etc. in you.

Similarities between Muslim house-wives and “working” women and how they both work

We often assume that the world of a working woman is distinct from the world of a house-wife. As a result, many women debate that either one of the two is superior to the other. I find this division unnecessary and illogical. Both types of women are indeed working – in their own fields, with their own levels of expertise. What we need to see is whether they have contributed to the best of their abilities in their respective fields. Have they succeeded in raising the most wonderful kids in the neighbourhood? Have they volunteered for a noble cause? Have they promoted, say, modesty by selling hijab materials? Apart from these, they share some excellent qualities and emotions:

• Undoubtedly, both want to balance work with other duties. In most cases, both are not so blinded by ambition that they will abandon their families. They believe in moderation, and at the end of the day, seek rewards from Allah.

• Both want to be productive solely for the sake of Allah. They are very clear about their intentions as well as their visions. They stay away from any activity which is forbidden by the Qur’an and Sunnah. Both want to incorporate Islam into every thing they do, wherever they are, whether at home or outside the home.

• Both have some womanly instincts in common, for example, empathy for others, appreciation for modesty, the ability to forgive quickly, concern for their families, etc.

How to encourage productivity of women

There are many men who complain about time-shifts. How can a woman pay attention to the family if she is working outside her home from 9 A.M. to 4 P.M., or even longer? The answer is quite simple. Everyone should come forward to build a workplace/work environment based on the teachings of Islam, instead of complaining about the lack of it! Therefore, for instance, time-shifts could be shorter and more flexible so that each woman will have to work outside the home for a couple of hours only, or will have the opportunity to take breaks between the working hours. Moreover, there are always home-based options.

Inspire others to be productive. Start with the people around you. Remind them why it is important to be productive. Recognize their talents if they have not done so themselves. Inspire them to be moderate and balanced.

Men could greatly encourage the women, whether she is a mother, wife, or sister, by helping with their projects. They can advise, or even take up certain areas of the project in their own hands. They may even initiate a certain project and delegate certain responsibilities to the women.

Make duaa. Ask Allah to enable Muslim women to be productive.

To be continued insha’Allah…

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Steps To A Happy Marriage Part 2

by Rubina Siddiqi

view Part 1 of this series HERE.

It is He who created you from a single person, and made from his mateoflike nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love) - Al-A'raf: 189

All marriages have their ups and downs - but seeking Allah’s help (subhana wa ta’ala) and making dua at times of distress for every issue helps sort out the problems most effectively.

Role of our Deen:

We should try our level best to make our faith/Deen a priority in our lives. Let it be the foundation on which you build your life together. The Barakah (blessings) this will bring in your life will be obvious to experience and witness, Inshallah. Strong Iman and Taqwa should be an important part of a healthy marriage. Our Faith is not just a religion but it is complete guidance regarding howweshould live our lives. As individual Muslims, you and your spouse maybe on different “wavelengths”; meaning you may see things somewhat differently in matter where there is room for disagreement. Take this as an opportunity to grow together in thedeen and do Islamic things together. Simple acts of praying together, attending halaqas together, or reading the Quran and discussing its meaning will not only help strengthen your faith in Islam, but will also become a common thread that will bind you together. The beauty of Islam is that every minor and major thing has been made very clear. A couple will find a clear perspective regarding the different issues in their marriage, be it their rights, duties, responsibilities etc.

Ibn Umar (radi Allahu anhu) relates that the Holy Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wasallam said: ‘Everyone of you is a protector and guardian of his immediate charge and is responsible for the actions of those persons who are committed to his charge. A ruler is also a steward, a man is a steward in respect of his family members of his house, and a woman is a steward in respect of her husband’s house and children. In short every one of you is a steward and accountable for those who are placed under his care.' (Bukhari and Muslim)

Be a Friend to each other :

This is a simple yet important aspect of marriage. Do things that you enjoy together as a couple. Try to show enthusiasm for each other’s likes and hobbies. Joke around with your spouse as this lightens the atmosphere at home. Share your laughter with each other.

Narrated Aisha, Ummul Mu'minin: while she was on a journey along with the Apostle of Allah salAllahu aleyhi wasallam: I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. He said: This is for that outstripping. - Sunan Abu Dawood - Book 14, Number 2572

It is also necessary to take time out for each other when you can talk about everything and nothing. Take a trip down memory lane whether you have been married for a year or 20 years. Remind yourselves of the good times spent together and look back on how you have grown together as individuals and as a couple in your marriage.

Grass is Greener on the other side:

In this era of social networking we are constantly bombarded with images of happy and perfect lives of others. Never compare your spouse or your married life to that of others. Be thankful to Allah subahana wa ta’la for what he has blessed you with.

Abu Hurayrah radi Allahu ahnu narrated that Allah’s messenger sal Allahu aleyhi wasallam said ”Beware of envy as it devours good deeds just as fire devours fuel.” - Muslim

It is easy to get frustrated if we start comparing our lives with the perfect families we see and start feeling unsatisfied in the imperfections of our marriage. Remember your knowledge is limited to the reality of your life and not that of others. It is always better to focus on the fact that perfection of your marriage lies in your hands. Always give Shukr for what you have and do Sabr for what you don’t.

I conclude by saying that in the end the main thing to remember and incorporate into our lives in every relationship is that we should try our level best to give it it’s due. Do not let minor things become big issues, and always be aware of the fact that this may be our last chance to rectify our mistakes. Learn to give unconditional love and respect to the important people in your lives before it is too late.

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Education Based On Application

by Khadeejah Islam

Back in school years, we were exposed to an educational curriculum which focused on learning through memorizing. In addition, we were led to believe that good grades along with a dozen of certificates reflected our aptitude. Therefore, most of our childhood years were spent in cramming notes and memorizing a large portion of the textbooks, even if we did not understand the concept. If we were to leaf through old textbooks, we would stumble upon a lot of pages marked with the words “memorize by heart.” Later in life, during the years in university, we were allowed a little bit of space as we were assigned projects where we had to apply the lessons that we learnt. However, at the end of the day, the students were still habituated to memorizing.

This system of learning continues even today. Most of the students memorize by heart before the exam, and once the exam is over, they unload their memory and hence, cannot retain most of what they had learnt, or even memorized (without learning or understanding). Such a method of learning has come under heavy criticism in the past few years. This is because memorizing perhaps ensured better grades, but later in life, the lessons memorized did not materialize into actions. In other words, the students, failing to grasp the concept, did not know how to implement or apply what they had learnt. As a result, they were unable to generate new ideas for the betterment of the society. Their individuality and creativity was stunted. Their productivity at work declined. The certificates were of little value. In addition, most of them were reluctant to participate in extra-curricular activities and community service projects, because they were too busy chasing certificates and grades.

It is indeed a pity that such a mode of learning has crept into the world of Islamic education. Nowadays, people are vocal about the importance of seeking and conveying knowledge, but the issue of application is ignored. There have been instances where duties involving application have been overlooked. The following are a few examples:

• People update their Facebook status with a verse from the Qur’an and think that they have “saved” the world. While such a technique is not really bad, and may convey the message of Islam easily, it should also be noted that others want to see how that verse can be applied in the modern world. Furthermore, not everyone uses Facebook, and even if they do, not all are regular. Therefore, implementation is essential to guide your neighbours and others with whom you interact on a regular basis.

• There are many who are so “busy” seeking and conveying knowledge that they do not have time to stop and ask others if they are in any need or not. They do not have time to respond to urgent messages. They do not have time to visit the sick. They do not have time to volunteer for community service projects as much as they should. Where is the implementation of the knowledge that they are seeking and preaching?

I urge my brothers and sisters to implement the knowledge as much as they are seeking and conveying it. The real test lies in application. For instance, it might be very easy to preach that we need to be patient, but harder to do so when we face a major loss in our own lives. 

Furthermore, many people, such as rape victims, do not hope for a long lecture, but they do expect you to drop by, spend some time with them and say a few words of kindness. The following are examples of ideas which need your application:

• Contribute an idea to reduce poverty and unemployment, or to support women battered by domestic violence or forced marriages.

• Represent Islam by engaging in beneficial causes, such as sponsoring orphans, raising awareness about AIDS, participating in various workshops, etc.

• Work with other Muslims on Islamic events and projects. There are many options out there. You can contribute by your skills of writing or halaal photography. You can organize halaal movie screenings in your area. You can donate to authentic websites and promote them.

• Do not cut off social interaction. We, as Muslims, have already been accused of “not integrating into the society.” Therefore, make it a point to maintain contact with others at least once a week. With the advent of social networking sites, this should be easy. Do not ignore mails, text messages and calls (unless absolutely necessary). Go around in your community, interact with others and see who needs help. Your neighbour might be suffering from domestic violence and may want your intervention.

• Keep up-to-date with current affairs. I do not understand why people ignore newspapers. I do not know of any ruling which says that reading newspapers is haraam. You need to know what’s happening where, so that if the need arises, you can do your bit to help. Newspapers often publish reports (especially local ones which do not receive much attention) which could help us to stay safe, to raise awareness, or to engage in charity. You can also participate in halaal events.

May Allah enable us to practise at home as well as in the wider community all the Islamic values that we preach. Ameen.

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