by Maryam Abd Al Ghafur
Have you heard that before? It is frequently, but not exclusively, used between muslimahs who are dear friends, who genuinely love each other, care for each other, are, in the quaint phrase of old, "bosom bows" to and for each other.
Allah 'azza wa jall says, in what is interpreted in English to mean, "The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allaah that you may receive mercy. O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithfurl believer) as: "O sinner", or, "O wicked"]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zaalimun (wrongdoers)." (Al Hujurat, 49: 10-11)
Have you heard that before? It is frequently, but not exclusively, used between muslimahs who are dear friends, who genuinely love each other, care for each other, are, in the quaint phrase of old, "bosom bows" to and for each other.
"We need to have more unity amongst the believers; we need more brotherhood, more sisterhood." This, too, is a common saying, and no less true for its prevalence. It goes without saying, or it should, that that unity must be upon tawheed, be upon disavowal of shirk and kufr asghar and kabeer, and be upon obedience and sincerity to Allaah subhana wa ta'Alaa and Rasul Allaah, sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam, yet sisterhood escapes us. Why?
The underlying answer is not known to me, but I do have theories, based in part upon what I have seen and have experienced.
Allah 'azza wa jall says, in what is interpreted in English to mean, "The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islamic religion). So make reconciliation between your brothers, and fear Allaah that you may receive mercy. O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former. Nor defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. How bad is it to insult one's brother after having Faith [i.e. to call your Muslim brother (a faithfurl believer) as: "O sinner", or, "O wicked"]. And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed Zaalimun (wrongdoers)." (Al Hujurat, 49: 10-11)From the beneficial book Bulugh al Maram: 1292. Narrated (Abu Huraira) radhi Allahu anhu: Allah's Messenger, sal'Allahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "Do not envy one another, do not outbid one another (with a view to raising the price), do not have hatred for one another, do not boycott one another, and do not enter into a transaction when the other has already entered into it; and be brothers (to one another) O servants of Allaah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor desert him, nor despise him. Piety is found here -- (pointing three times to his chest) -- despising his Muslim brother is enough evil for any man to do. Every Muslim's blood, property and honor are unlawful [We learn through this Hadith that it is forbidden for a Muslim to bear a grudge against another Muslim] to be violated by another Muslim." [Muslim reported it].
To say that we will all like one another in this world's life is unrealistic. But the right of good conduct towards each other is a part of 'eeman, which is not only belief in the heart, but actions of the limbs and words on the tongue. If we differ with our sisters, they are in fact our sisters. And while it may be something that some of us have learned from our childhood interactions with our biological sisters, yelling at each other, nursing rancor, laughing at each other's mistakes, real or perceived, is not from the good character of the Believing women. If there is a sister in Islam that we do not like, is that dislike so great, is it so precious to us, that it precludes giving the greeting with a smile? To say, "I am not a hypocrite; if I don't like you, you're going to know that I don't like you." is to forget that when a man came to visit Rasul Allaah, sall'Allaahu alayhe wa sallam, before the man entered, Rasul Allaah said, “What an evil son of an evil people.” But he was courteous and kind to the man. After, ‘Aishah bint Abu Bakr, radhi Allaahu anhum, said, “Rasul Allaah, I heard you say, ‘What an evil son of an evil people’, but you were smiling and polite to him?”
The answer was that she had never seen him to be discourteous to anyone. It is from the rights of others over us that we are kind and polite; it is not our right, nor does it make us shining examples of honesty and forthrightness to harm others with our words or in any other fashion.
Where is it in brotherhood (sisterhood) that we use the adherence to Qur’aan and Sunnah against a muslimah, to advance our own agenda at the expense of a Believer’s family, good will, or heart? To use another Muslim’s knowledge of husnul dhun to cheat and deceive until one’s blatant manipulations leave no other choice but to walk away from the one who was loved for the sake of Allaah?
And, for that matter, where is it in the good deeds of a believer that we tolerate errors in aqeedah, because of our affection for fulan aw fulana, until they irritate us personally – at which point, we cut that person out of our lives? Not only is it against the Sunnah which we all say that we uphold to boycott someone for more than three days from personal matters, it puts the slave’s likes and dislikes above the standards that the Lawgiver has sent down, which is of loving what He loves and hating what He hates, our own personal opinions regardless.
I speak to myself first of all; if I am sincere, if I in fact do love you for the sake of Allaah, then I will clarify matters, not deeming you to be so unimportant that you are not worthy of my mirroring your good and evil deeds back at you so that you may see them, recognize them, and, insha Allah, correct them in obedience to Allah, and I ask you to do the same for me.
“I love you for the sake of Allah.” May the One for whose sake you love me, love you as well. Ameen
